Breathe... Week 2

Hopefully this week will be better than my first few days!  Past fellows will know what I’m feeling, and as for next years fellows, if you’re reading this, be prepared. It’s not easy, but it will get better. :)

I’m looking forward to starting my work with SveDem. 

I attended mass this morning at St. Eric’s, and it was in swedish, but never before was I grateful to know the mass parts in Latin.  4000 miles from home and I am still able to understand what is being said.  Magic.  Thank you to Kelly and LAS!  Thank you for teaching me Latin.  I’m eternally grateful.   It was comforting to know that somewhere else, someone was saying the same thing, hearing the same words I was, although they may have been in another language.

There is something so amazing about the Catholic faith and I felt the connection with the people sitting around me regardless of my inability to say the correct response.

I’ve been reading about SveDem, and I am reminded about why I am here.  I wish to make the world a better place, I wish to care for those who are in need, and SveDem’s research can help me figure out where to start.

During the SveDem team meeting I went to on Friday, I showed up an hour and a half early because I’m still figuring out how to interpret 24 hour time, it appears I cannot add very well :P, the team asked what I would like to do during my six weeks here.  After hearing all of the different things that each member of the team does, I simply said, “ I would like to learn as much as possible from each of you”.  I can learn something from everyone, and each part of his or her work for the registry is important and necessary!

I got to talk to my parents last night, which was much needed.

I’ve received such support from my family and friends at home in these first few days, and I would just like to say thank you!  I love miss you all!

Hej då från Sverige!

Gamla Stan

Today I went to Gamla Stan, or “Old Town” in Swedish, and did some very touristy things.  I was very excited to go, and while walking to the islet of Riddarholmen I met two very nice tourists from North Carolina.  These two ladies, older, but truly young at heart, asked if I knew anything about the church on the islet.  I opened my Sweden tour book and found information on Riddarholmenskyrkan (as it sounds).  It is a very beautiful old church!

While walking around the little islet I sat down on some steps just to take in Stockholm.  I was overcome with excitement and perhaps a bit of shock that I’m here visiting Stockholm.  It’s still a little unreal. 

When my mind is occupied it is really fun to be here, but when it is not, I’m homesick. I still have the uncomfortable feelings that one gets when venturing into the unknown. Especially being alone.  If I had a friend to talk to it would be different, but I don’t, so I’ll just have to do my best and be bold and talk to other tourists. 

The two ladies I met were living in Amsterdam and were going on to live in France somewhere for a few months after that.  They aren’t really sure when they will return to the US. J

I also met a tourist from Germany.  He was carrying a Stockholm book (one can easily spot tourists by their guide books :), and we chatted for a few blocks.  We were trying to find where the changing of the guard was going to happen and by the time we found our way around the Royal Palace, we had missed it. Oh well, I’ll see it another day! 

Today was a good day, and I’m trying not to wish I was at home, I’m sure soon I’ll not want to leave. 

Hej då från Sverige!

Craving connection

People are good. 

Humans are inherantly social creatures, and we crave connection. 

The last two days were incredibly hard, and yet, so were my first few days after I moved to Cleveland earlier this summer.  The disconnection I had there in Cleveland was one of my own choice, the conscious choice to live without wifi at home.  After living at Xavier for four years, and never being without that connection to the internet, it was a big shock to me to rediscover the connection I had been missing. 

So instead of watching silly videos on my laptop evening, I read on my front porch and when I heard my neighbor come outside with her dog, I would go and chat. 

My lack of a digital connection helped me meet people at church and moved me to do things on my own: go to a restaurant alone, go for a walk to get ice cream, go to a festival where I didn’t know anyone. 

Here, in Sweden, it was a different kind of isolation.  Despite being connected digitally to everyone back home, I am not in the same time zone, and communication is… interesting.  But I’ve found myself a very kind host who is patient with me, and I’ve met so many kind T-bana ticket workers who will answer my questions. (Most swedish people know english, but they don't think they speak it very well and don't want to look bad, so they get a little shy and won't say too much.)

Today I met with the SveDem research team, and it was fantastic!  I first met Emma, who gave me a tour of where I’ll be working for the next six weeks, and she introduced me to Pavla, who told me a little bit about her research and then said, let’s go and talk over coffee which is called “fika” in swedish. They said that “fika” was the one think I HAD to learn in swedish. 

I am still figuring out Sweden’s public transportation, so instead of taking the bus towards Skarpnäck I went the other way and took it all the way to the other end of the bus line to Norsborg. :P  I was rather confused when I was the only one left on the bus… I thought that another bus was going to have to take me back the other way, it turns out that it was just a longer stop and the same bus was going back the other way! I didn’t have to pay twice, the bus driver probably thought I was crazy, or just another tourist.

My days are slowly filling up, and I’m eager to start making connections through SveDem.

The power of being uncomfortable.

Feeling uncomfortable drives me to action.  After feeling miserable and overwhelmed again this morning, I visited two grocery stores, shopped at one, and managed to misplace three items on the walk home. I’ve no idea what happened to that bag.  :P

 I’m gonna call that a Brueggeman adventure instead of “Genevieve’s carelessness”, it sounds nicer. 

Anyway, I returned home and stalled for a little while, found some really helpful apps – The T app with the map of the entire subway system – so amazing. 

I was hesitant to start out, afraid of looking like a tourist, but that’s kind of what I am. So I chose to embrace it. 

I went on down to the T station and rode it nine stops to Medborgarplatsen where I got off to see St. Eric’s Cathedral.  It was a beautiful old church, and sitting inside was very serene and peaceful. 

Here's St. Eric, I've yet to learn about him.  I'm thinking he was a pretty cool guy. 

For a short while, the world that was rushing by just outside the door seemed very far away.  It was just what I needed. I'm reminded of the Encounter retreat I was blessed to be a part of this past January, our coordinator said, "we retreat from the world to better know how to re-enter it".  I felt so much better coming out and exploring the touristy looking shopping centre and plaza. Stockholm is a very interesting city.  

When I’m uncomfortable, I tend not to want to do a whole lot, but then I get bored and feel the need to do something, anything.  It will hopefully lead me to good things.

Hej då fram Svierge!

Sweden: Day 1

And so began the longest day of my life.

5 ½ hour fight to Reykjavik,

2 hour layover in Iceland,

2 ½ hour flight to Arlanda Airport, (total of 16 hours traveling, US time)

waited for my checked bag,

phone call/emails sent to say I’m safe,

breakfast,

Arlanda Express train to Stockholm,

Walking in a large circle around downtown,

Sporadically emailing my host to find somewhere to meet,

Trying desperately to get through the people headed for the T-bana (subway), (twas very much like a salmon swimming up river but with a rolly bag and a being too polite to just cut in front of people),

T-bana ride to the stop two stops ahead of where I thought I was supposed to be, (I had to get off because they said we couldn’t go to where I needed to be…

Having to walk about 5 miles to one stop ahead of where I though I was supposed to be, getting lost numerous times,

Taking the T-bana to the last stop on the line, where I THOUGHT I was supposed to be,

Asking a kind shop owner for his wifi password,

Realizing that I was one T stop past where I was supposed to meet my host,

Taking the T back to the stop I had just came from, and meeting my host. 

Taking one T stop back up the line to get off and walk to my host’s house.

What have I learned?

1.     That I just wanted to go home numerous times

2.     I was really glad that I thought it would be a good idea to put my hiking boots on at the airport.

3.     My sleep schedule is completely out of whack.

4.     Sweden is beautiful.

5.     Strangers are kind, and willing to help.

6.     Sweden has very lovely bike/walking paths, everywhere!

7.     iPhones and their GPS’s are wonderful things.

8.     This adventure is bigger than I ever imagined.

So many times I wanted to cry, because I was walking, because I could never seem to stay close to the roads I was following, because I knew my host was waiting and I couldn’t get there fast enough, but I kept muttering to myself “you committed to this Genevieve, you can’t go home now.”  The insecurity and ambiguity and uncomfortable feelings of knowing that I might not have a place to stay are truly terrifying and yet the worries are gone the minute you meet a kind stranger who will become one’s family over the coming weeks.  I certainly hope so.