Almost on my way!

Tell everybody I’m on my way, and I’m loving every step I take!

For those of you that know me, you know that that is a line from a song from the movie Brother Bear.  The little bear, Koda, is on a journey home after losing his mother and gaining a rather hesitant new guardian, Kenai. 

Now, my story is not as tragic as Koda’s, and I’m grateful, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hesitant about leaving tomorrow, but I’m trying not to push those feelings away.  Yes, I’m hesitant, and scared about stepping into the unknown, but I know that wonderful things await me there.  Things I cannot imagine, and things that will change the way I see the world. 

So, you don’t actually have to tell everybody I’m on my way, because everybody won’t really care, but you can tell yourself!  And say a prayer for me, because I’m on my way, and I’m loving ever step I take! 

I’ll see you all in Sweden!

On leaving places, and coming home.

I’ve left a lot of places in the last year.  I left home for my final year of college, and when we graduated, I left the city I grew to love over four years.

I moved to a new city, desperate to figure out life and yearning to be on my own.

Yesterday, I left the home I made there.

I left my neighbors and friends who became my family, I left my boyfriend, and the comfort and convenience that I had grown accustomed to. 

Each time I leave somewhere it feels like I’m leaving home, and yet, wherever I go, I am comfortable.  It’s nice to leave your heart in different places, therefore you’ll always be home.

Next week, I’m going to leave the country. It’s not real yet, but I’m sure when I get to the airport I’ll feel a little bit of panic and want to turn around.  It's not the adventure that scares me, it is the ‘not having a home yet’ part of this. 

The coming weeks will pose one of the biggest challenges for me, as I felt the beginning of the summer did, (living alone after being surrounded by people is a HUGE change.)  I will not yet have a home in Stockholm, but hopefully I will find a home and be okay with leaving a piece of my heart there. 

Risk stepping into the unknown, it could be magic.

This morning’s homily focused on taking risks, which provided an excellent topic for my reflection on my summer.  When I graduated, I had no idea how uncomfortable “the unknown” would be, and I learned a lot about that very quickly.  The more people I reached out to, and who reached back to me led me to constant lessons about post-grad life, and how different it looks for everyone.

Everyone I meet, and tell about my coming trip to Sweden, asks if I’m excited to go.  I nod enthusiastically, because who wouldn’t want to go to Sweden?  And its true, but I am also terrified as well.  I am temporarily moving to a country that I know nothing about, okay, very little about, where I only have email contacts, and I don’t know the language.  What will become of me?

           

           The homily that was given after the gospel of Jesus walking on water and Peter doubting and nearly drowning was one that was spoke to me deeply.  I have had so many experiences this summer of taking a risk, going somewhere alone, making the effort to talk to a stranger in the hopes that I would find some comfort in their interaction, and I was always pleasantly surprised. 

  

          This summer, I was able to join many families and those days surrounded with people made my solitude something that I grew to love.  The time I spent alone in a house too big for one person became times that I was able to reflect upon how lucky I have been. 

           I took a risk, I had faith, and God blessed me in so many ways.  So now, two weeks before I embark on one of the biggest adventures of my life (so far), I’ll have faith that the Swedes are a kind people, and that smiling is a universal language, and I’ll go, trusting in the Lord.

On growing up.

I’d rather not grow up.  However, I’m working against myself.

Yesterday, I took, and passed, my licensure test for Social Work. (YAY!) I would seem that I am becoming an adult very quickly.

With the word “future” looming at me in the distance, I’m faced with having to make decisions, or perhaps, to start thinking about decisions that need to be made.

My friends keep telling me, “growing old is compulsory, growing up is optional.”

- Bob Monkhouse

By passing the licensure exam, it puts me one step closer to putting the letters LSW behind my name, and one step closer to a professional career. 

I have absolutely no idea what direction to go into.  Public Health? Policy? Macro Practice? Community Organizing?

I’m waiting for one experience to happen and decide everything for me, but “life isn’t a wish-granting factory”, so that’s not happening anytime soon.  (Thanks to John Green for that unfortunate nugget of truth.)

But growing older brings such wonderful adventures, it brings new people into our lives, it brings new experiences, new cities, new jobs, new blessings.  Who isn’t excited, and terrified, for that?

Growing up isn’t easy, it’s messy, and painful, and yet, it’s fun. It’s the adventure we all get to have.

Don’t take life too seriously; no one gets out alive anyway.  Enjoy life.

(I know, I know, it’s bleak humor, but it is true!)

I read another of Dr. Byock’s books, and it’s called “The Four Things That Matter Most”.

These four things are:

1. Please forgive me,

2. I forgive you,

3. Thank you, and

4. I love you. 

Throughout the book Dr. Byock discusses how people who were facing death and their families found healing through saying these four things.  But the larger theme is that instead of saving these things for the end of our life, we should live by these statements.

Say them daily.  Your relationships will be that much deeper and stronger than you ever imagined.  For this is simply admitting that we are inevitably human. 

About time...

Well hello July!

I didn’t expect you so soon!  But you’re here now, and I’m sure you’ll pass by quicker than I would like.

So, on to my thoughts!  I finally finished The American Health Care Paradox which explained a lot of big picture themes of how our healthcare system works, and gave a compelling argument about why it is the way it is and how we can work to change our system for the better.

It’s going to take time, but like all good things, you have to wait for them.

Lasting change isn’t instantaneous.

Rome wasn’t built in a day… and SEE how long it’s lasted!!

Time, it’s what we need most and yet it’s working against us.

Yet, what would we be if we weren’t bound by time?

The documentary I watched, “Escape Fire: The Fight to Rescue American Healthcare”, was also very interesting, and informative.

It shed a lot of light on how our system of “healthcare” is a “reactive” system instead of a “preventative” or “proactive” system.  It consists mostly of medical care and does not do a whole lot of “supporting the good” when you visit doctors or hospitals. 

For example, one could go to the doctor for a check up or to seek treatment for a minor malady and the doctor would give them very fine medical care and perhaps a diagnosis, but I doubt they would even ask about how you were keeping up your health in other senses.

Would they ask if you exercise regularly? Or whether you eat lots of kale and healthy foods?  Would they ask about your drinking habits?  Or if you smoke daily?

Most often these questions are only asked if they have something to do with your being in their office in the first place.  Yet, so much of our environment and social interaction contributes to our overall health.  Doctors are specialized in medical care, not in asking about the social determinates of our health.  (Shout out to you Maggie!)

Can we train our doctors differently to see the big picture of what determines health and give them alternatives to treatment with pharmaceuticals?

Can we start talking about how our healthcare system needs to see the broad picture of health?

We have the constitutional right to be foolish about our health, but we should be empowering people to demand access to healthcare organizations that make us healthier in every aspect of our life.